우수한 모험 (The excellent adventure)

Now I know when people think summer vacation, South Korea automatically comes to mind. Regardless, and to be cliche, I went anyway. And then I came back. So, to soften the blow of finding myself once again working and living in Toronto, I thought I'd reminisce and jot down some thoughts and quaint observations on the little country I called Korea. Because that's what it was called.

First the technicalities, or as some kind nurses have said "Korea?!?! WTF?!?!" My magnificent trip abroad is all thanks to Angele my belle, an awesome friend from my Barrie days whose friendship was cemented when I taught her how to close down the sandwich station while we were both working at Wendy's (she was a slow learner but eventually came around ;) She's been teaching English to Korean kindergarten kids for the past 9 months in a town 45 min south of the capital Seoul. She invited me so I figured "meh...why not?" and dropped by.

14 hour flight and 13 hour time difference later, I was there.

Oh and note to self: BLLLLAAAAARRRRGGHHHHHH I hate flying. Get to Australia by boat.

(And for those of you not knowing that I'm leaving for Australia, jump back a few blogs and get with the freaking program people! Jk, I'm only mildly offended that you don't check this site every single day.)

Right, Korea: pure fun, Asian style. As soon as I arrived, tired and ridiculously jetlagged as I was, I decided to not waste a moment's time and get my first taste of this strange new land I now found myself in. So we dropped off my stuff, headed into Seoul and watched game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals at a Canadian expat bar named the Rocky Mountain Tavern. (Edmonton! What happened!??!) We were joined by Angele's fellow Canadian teachers who she lives in a small apartment complex with, very much like rez (complete with floorcest!) How great was it to watch them get all misty eyed when Canadian commercials came on? If you ask me, Korean commercials are waaaaaay better, especially since 96.74% of the Asian actors are for sure gay.

After that, she showed me how the public transport system worked, what street meat to avoid (ie. all of it) and from there I was pretty much left to my own devices. She worked 9-3 or 9-7 every weekday so a good chunk of my time was spent wandering aimlessy around Seoul seoul-o. (Seoul-o! Ha! Get it? Solo! Oh nevermind.....) Not that I really minded though. It's been a bit of a hard past month or so for me and it was nice to just be by myself in a foreign country and be able to think things through a little. And besides, apart from my annoying need for frequent bathroom breaks, I'm a pretty darn cool person to travel with.

Okay, don't want to make this blog too long so I'll leave it at that for now. Cliffhanger though, huh?!?! Ohhhhh......Amy's all alone in Korea....what will she do next.......?

the ongoing and upcoming battles.....

Hey there peeps, missed you all so much too.

Been trying to sit down and put something for you guys for ages (say, since December?) but writer's block had me licked. In previous drafts to this blog I've gotten a few scant sentences down and then my muse randomly decides "ah fuck it!" and I'm left with squat.

So here goes, I'm feeling the vibe tonight with some Dire Straits playing in the background.....Brothers in Arms, let's see how we do........

Been living in many different moods and mindsets these past months, marvelling at the wonders and the terrors of Toronto and the surrounding universe. It's been a back and forth ongoing battle between me and the big city for the past 2 years now and I'm pleased (?) to say we've finally put aside our differences and let bygones be bygones and be pals. Of course, we could never come to such an agreement were I not getting the bloody hell outta here.

That's right my monkeys, transition phase is coming to a close this year and Amy's back in the driver's seat again. Or plane seat belt. Like so many of my kind (ie you guys), Australia beckons and I'll be going down under to play the didgeridoo in fall 2006. All brought to me oh so hassle free by my nursing degree. The plan is to live, love, work and play in Perth for a year and then see where the seas send me. Perhaps back to Canada, perhaps on to some other brave new home. It's all in the paperwork stage right now but at least I know it's coming up. Australia is what got me through another Toronto winter and Australia is what will make this last Toronto summer all the sweeter. So much to look forward to. Then again, there's going to be so much to miss.

Namely my boy genius Jolan. Damn damn damn the man and his unfaltering devotion to his hometown. It's been over a year now (wtf?) as team J&A, and apart from cat allergies and differing opinions on the capital of Ontario, it's been all love, as they say in Spain. Regardless of what is to come, we'll depart ways with a bang once he moves in for the summer. Gaaaaaaa! Messhica is abandoning me with a boy, taking a short stay in Barrie before she voyages off to the UK to work and play and fall in love with some guy with an absolutely smashing accent. Year of transition indeed. It's hilarious, Jol and I will move in together and take a huge step forward in the relationship before that great big ocean leap apart. For a year. Fuuuuuuck. Neither of us know where such a distance will leave us after all is said and done but regardless, we'll take T.O. (and Ontario) for all it's worth this summer.

Guess who else I'm super psyched to chill with this summer?!?!? YOU GUYS! As if you didn't know! When we collide it's a kind of magic and nothing would have made Toronto easier than more of you joining me in misery. Let's get our lives in syncronicity sometime soon, please please for the sake of my sanity, if at best for only one night, and drink to health and happiness and the old times.

As for the whole work thingie, it's been too emotionally packed lately. Please forgive me but I can't even bear to go into the whole long story now. One sentence summary: I've become too attached to a patient and his family. It hurts my head and it hurts my heart and it's not a story that's headed for a happily ever after. As much as I love my job, every once in a while it really sinks in what it is I'm doing here, and that's a heavy realization. Forever sincerest thanks to those brave souls who let me vent and keep me grounded and help me sort through this crappy thing called cancer. I'd lock myself in the closet and live off rum and peanut butter if you weren't here.

Literally.

So the moon's riding high now and Dire Straits pulled me through. Another nice night spent alone with just me, I suppose there are worse fates in life.....

Miss you Johnny

All day they've been playing Lennon/Beatles songs on Q107 to mark the 25th anniversary of John's death. What better way to spend a day? Chilling solo in my apartment, writing some thoughts down on life and times with some Beatles tunes playing in the background. God don't you wish he were still here? Imagine what could have been....

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on though, or at least you gotta try. It's been a busy month and a bit for you, me and everybody. So much going on these days it seems for all of us. We're all growing up, coming face to face with the grown ups we've become. Weddings, pregnancies, babies, buying first houses, ending long term relationships, interesting long term prospects, looking for that first official job, travelling halfway across the world to teach, travelling halfway across the world to travel. Craziness! Exciting times for sure, all I can say is CONGRATULATIONS GUYS, GO SHOW 'EM HOW IT'S DONE! I have your back tigers, thanks for having mine.

So can't possibly go into all that's come up recently, here's some highlights. It was time for another biannual trip to Londontown, so cool yet so trippy to come back to. So many of you have now departed dear Londonland that it will never be quite the same but grand times were had nonetheless. The alcohol goes down just as well as it ever did. Special shout-out goes to Beth for boarding me and feeding me and being my all round hero. And Jan! Best lunch date ever in the history of lunch dates! Oh and note to all, when ordering sushi, ensure that your server hears you say 6 pieces, not 6 rolls. But hey, who doesn't want 36 pieces of sushi all at once!?!? (Of course plus the mandatory unagi....mmmm fried eel....)

Moving along to other places and other provinces, I finally took that train trip ($240?!?) to Montreal to live it up french style with Erin my love. For those who don't know, Erin and I met in preschool and were roomies in university. So, needless to say, a bit of fun was had. We ate, we drank, we went shopping, what else are two gals to do? A museum was fit in their somehow to give the appearance we do have some culture. Oh comme il etait froid! Sacre bleu! Il y a....des oiseux.....a la fenetre(?) Deux pamplemousse! Yes, pure gibberish but that's what Erin and I are when in the same room, that's the only biproduct there is. We missed ya Miranda, next time for sure, sitting and drinking on the Montreal patios summer 2006!

Hmmm, what else to add?

I'm currently watching all the little gerbils of people milling around in the office building next to our apartment. Close some windows people! I see everything! Vice versa, Jess swears she saw one of them watching her put on deoderant the other day.

Well, I really can't type anymore, have to wrap up but promise I'll write again soon. I work tonight then have a week off to do all that it is that people do around this time of year. Hopefully I'll catch up on some sleep, hopefully I'll catch up on some sanity, hopefully I'll catch up.

Ahhh, how fitting, as I wrap up my blog they begin playing A Day in the Life, one of my all time favourites and the title to my musings. What do they call that when everything fits together so perfectly.......?

Thanks John, we still miss you.

They Say it's Your Birthday........?

It's my birthday too yeah! (Two weeks ago at least).

Well then........24! We're in the big leagues now baby! Knee-deep in the twenty-something years. If I didn't know any better I'd say I was getting older. Quite the memorable birthday week, marked by a few firsts for me and the mandatory large amount of booze......

Having worked Friday night, I stumbled out of bed that Saturday afternoon with the same thing on my mind most people have when in similar circumstances: banana muffins. I was joining Jolan and his family for a casual Thanksgiving that night and wanted to bring along something girlfriendishy. Banana muffins were the obvious solution so thus my baking got underway. (I first had to pick up some flour from the corner store but that's really not vital to the story). As I was just putting the last batch in the oven, lo and behold, Jolan shows up announcing he'll escort me to his house after he gives me my birthday present. Ignoring the fact that it would be technically 4 days early, I hold out my hands, close my eyes and before me appears a Maple Leafs jersey. Alright! Very cool! I was psyched for finally being able to spend a winter in Toronto with the bars full of hockey fans, now I could even dress the part! Awesome gift, through and through, yet there's "just one more little side gift to go along with that....." Eyes closed again, something light, small, papery - LEAFS TICKETS! Insane! I couldn't believe it ~ I had never been to a hockey game before so this was truly amazing. What was even more unbelievable was that of course the tickets were for that night(!) ~ the whole Thanksgiving thing being a decoy. What about my banana muffins?!?!? All that effort for nothing. Hmph. Muffins or no, it was a great game, marred only by the fact that Leafs lost to Habs 5-4 (don't say a word Marc). Maybe next time. Drinks and pool followed in bar afterwards, oh what a night. (We did have the option of seeing 54-40 perform live outside the ACC after the game but we opted out, figuring there could only have so much fun had in one night, after that it's just being greedy).

The next morning was spent with Adam, a definite first for me and really too complicated to go into it all right now. I'll save that story for another blog. (Oh the intrigue....)

That night, exhausted as I was, was spent in Kitchener, and although we called it Thanksgiving, it really was just an excuse to have all my relatives together and get liqoured.* Jolan came and met the whole fam-damily for the first time, he was quite impressed as you can imagine. Whose family isn't nuts, all in good fun, and my Grandma truly is the sweetest lady there is.

(*also see Christmas.)

As for the actual day of my birth, it was spent with little bruhaha in Barrie, just as I wanted, family and wine always making the world seem so wonderful and complete.

In other news and on to the exciting-lives-that-aren't-mine category, Angele my belle has left for a year in South Korea while Erin departed yesterday for Vietnam. Damn! Oh the jealousy! Becoming an english teacher and a nanny respectively, they're living and breathing and being a part of it all. While I'm in Toronto. But obviously don't get me started on that. I wish both you guys so many safe and amazing adventures, couldn't think of two more deserving gals. And yes Angele, you've officially become my next adventure, you heard it here first folks: South Korea 2006!

On that uplifting note I shall bid you all good night, and a very happy birthday to us all.....

Strange Days Indeed

Partly pleased partly grieved to announce that, contrary to popular belief (mostly mine), I'm evidently not going back to school afterall, at least not until January. Ha! I never thought I would be wishing to be back in Western but sure enough, George Brown ("The City College!") has driven me to the point where I would even pull out my Gap golf t-shirt and Banana Republic khakis and return back to UWO if it meant I could sign up for a course hassle free. The short story is George Brown sucks. The long story is their websites give a whole slew of wrong info re: pre and co-requisites for certification programs. Bastards! I'm pretty pissed, but at the same time it means I don't have to return to my nemesis quite yet. Hmph. They said I could take the ER course in January providing a) it's being provided ("maybe it won't") and b) the other course I have to take can be offered online ("that depends"). I should just tell them to go f*ck themselves and forget about the whole thing but now I'm just in it for spite. Bring it on GB!

Enough of that crap though. On to other crap. I read the news today (oh boy....) and keep wondering what's going on? In general, 2005's been a year and it ain't over yet. Is it just me or does the world heading downhill? I'm not familiar with weather patterns or trends or anything of the sort but I'm thinking more and more that I should start learning. The inane small-talk subject of weather is getting a little more intense as of lately. Has anyone ever recalled such an amazingly hot Canadian summer? The 2004 tsumani? So many hurricanes that the people who name them have supposedly almost run out of names? New Orleans is sinking man (and I don't wanna swim...) I know global warming is only supposed to hit our great grandkids or something but I just want that doublechecked. Then again what do I know, this could just be a freak weather year and I could just be a freak paranoid android.......but still, enough with the pollution people.

Keeping with the subject of news, I know I should be used to the Iraq war by now. But I'm not. 'Nuf said.

I'm also not used to watching my puppy grow old. My golden retriever Jake is now over 13 years and my family is watching him slowly fade away. I used to take him for hour long walks around Barrie's lakeshore everyday, him going swimming and chasing the ducks and crunching on crayfish and all sorts of other dog-related hobbies, never truly believing this day would come. The day is here though. He's still a puppy at heart though, still thinks he's a puppy, and although he can barely manage one time around the block now, he still pulls on his leash to go further. His nights were once spent keeping watch outside my bedroom, guarding me as I slept, but now he can't even make it up the stairs. So it's now my turn to keep watch over him, and I'll sleep beside him downstairs on the couch whenever I'm home. I've always been such a tremendous animal lover and I know there's those of you out there who will never understand how much a dog or a cat or a pet of any sort can become such a close and complete part of your life. I also know though there's those of you out there that do understand. You'll understand how hard it is to know that everytime you say goodbye, it may be goodbye for the last time. And you'll understand how much you'll miss such a dear old friend.

Last of the Summer Wine

Evenin' all, just thought I'd drop a line, get some of my incessantly orbiting thoughts out of my brain and onto some soft copy.

The summer has been a hootananee, quick summary is as follows: Europe, cottage, beach, camping, booze, etc......all the usual summer stuff everyone does to keep sane, myself included. And what grand times we have! So laid back, so in the moment, so perfect... as long as you don't remind yourself you have to go home to Toronto, it's all love. Special shout out to the week I spent in Tobermory with Jolan at my uncle's cottage ~ right on the lake, deck with BBQ, hikes and caves along the Bruce Trail, hammock and campfires and a bajillion stars. Not to mention some intense mini-golf skins games. (Intense!)

Another cool weekend we had was when, on a last minute spur of the moment idea, I booked a room for Jolan and I at the posh Royal York Hotel using Jess' friends and family discount (she's a hostess at the restaurant there). Hey, why not? We went out for a nice supper then spent the night sipping wine in our lush complimentary bathrobes. We lived in the lap of luxury, if only for a night. I figured there would never be an occasion for us to spend a night there, so why not create one? Carpe Diem!

Now I know what you're all thinking (and asking regularly), I'm spending an awful lot of time with this Jolan character (is that a real name?), what's it all about and will the wedding ball and chain be rattling soon? Answers: 1) yes I'm doing all these things with Jolan, not so much because I like him, it's just because he's there (kidding!) Honestly though, I really don't have many friends here in T.O. and since the majority of you are spread out across Ontario and the globe, Jolan wins by default. 2) yes it's kinda a name and 3) as Jess would say, "Oh fuck no!" (Nonsensical ramblings aside though, he truly is the absolute best and we care for each other a great deal. We're both still so young and will take it as it comes. Always an adventure with him, will keep you posted.....)

So school starts for me next week (vomit vomit vomit)) and George Brown College has already managed to screw me over! Now that's talent! Even Western didn't start to piss me off until after I actually set foot on campus. Won't go into details, this course just better be bloody worth the hassle. Vomit.

Have much more to say but I'm tired, seems like all I ever write about is pretty superficial mundane day to day stuff. Thought this whole blogger idea would be a bit more insightful but I guess that was a bit too much to assume. Da well. Maybe it's because I'm broadcasting to the world and maybe it's because I'm just not that insightful. I'll leave that one to ponder over for another time.......

Phew.......

It's one of those nights tonight where you turn all the lights off, light a candle, put on a Jeff Buckley album, close your eyes and be so so silent.... I haven't been able to find my Jeff Buckley album in ages though (and it breaks my heart) so instead I'll choose another release and just start writing.

It's one of those oh-so-rare nights when a) I'm home and b) Jess isn't. She is the absolute best and I'd be lonely as hell without her but sometimes I think back to and miss the nights last summer when she was away in Wales and I lived alone, no friends in a big city. Nights where I'd stay up til the wee witching hours of the morning just listening to music, thinking and drifting and searching the sky for stars that never appeared. How simple it all seemed!

Not that life is so outstandingly complex for me right now, maybe it's just that I don't have any quiet nights to myself anymore, that it's all a bit too loud, a bit too much is going on, if only in my head.

At work, I'm running a mile a minute, physically and mentally. These things always happen in waves and right now our floor is going through a wave of very sick patients that require a lot of support, in every sense of the term. It scares me sometimes at how intense my job is and how I come home utterly exhausted after a 12 hour shift. Call me crazy but I love it all the same, I'm good at helping people and knowing that is a feeling like no other.

I can't stop thinking ahead though and have somehow convinced myself to do something that I thought wasn't possible.......go back to school. Insert inexplicably rude four-letter words here. WTF? Why do I torture myself so? In all fairness, it would only be one online course and one part-time intensive six week course at George Brown College but the thought of facing a tortuous class room setting again induces vomiting for me. A gal's got to be brave though and I want to earn my ER nursing certification. Not that I ever ever want to work in an ER (BLECH!), I'm just thinking to the future when I want to go back to Africa/wherever and all the NGO's will be looking for ER experience and know-how. Besides, even if I don't ever go back, that's the ultimate nursing course, the be-all and end-all of facing any kind of situation, on the job or not.

Perhaps I want to take the course just to keep me busy this winter though. I've now noticed that for the past month or so, every day that I've had off work, I've left the city. Whether it's to Barrie to look after my sick old beloved golden retriever, going to the beach with Jess, going camping with Jolan or visiting friends in all corners of Ontario, I've left and I've loved it. Toronto is stiffling, and I'm not just talking of the heat. Everything is on such a grand scale and it wears you out, it wears you out. I leave to hear myself think. Looking ahead to the winter now is pretty intimidating. I very strongly disliked my first Toronto winter: so cold, so grey, so hard to get around (sans bicyclette) and a lot less to do. The ER course will be beneficial, if only for the fact that it'll keep me occupied during those cold months.

Man I'm sounding like such a downer right now. Apologies, don't mean to be so glib, just trying to free my mind of unnnecessary clutter right now so that I soon fall into an untroubled peaceful deep sleep.

I actually am really happy right now guys. Promise. Sometimes though your mind gets bogged down by thoughts that only slow you down. And the only way to get rid of them sometimes is to throw them down on paper. Or computer I guess. In any case, it's time for me to find an album that suits the mood and mellow out. I'll leave on a happy note, one that looks ahead with optimism, much like my overall situation: at the end of August Jolan and I will be making that grand roadtrip back up to Tobermory and will be spending a week of fun and sun and r&r in my uncle's cottage right on Georgian Bay. A dream come true, how much more perfect does it get? Hiking on the Bruce trail, canoeing, swimming in the Grotto, the Sweet Shop, the fish & chip place, the sunsets, the campfires......
And of course the stars......
And the quiet......